Thursday, December 2, 2010

I should be silenced by God!

Luke 1:20-22 (New International Version, ©2010)

20 And now you will be silent and not able to speak until the day this happens, because you did not believe my words, which will come true at their appointed time.”
 21 Meanwhile, the people were waiting for Zechariah and wondering why he stayed so long in the temple.22 When he came out, he could not speak to them. They realized he had seen a vision in the temple, for he kept making signs to them but remained unable to speak.


How many of you think Gabriel is a little tough on Zechariah? I am not ashamed to admit it. I don't think their are too many people who have not doubted God at one time or another. But, I don't know of anyone who was silenced for their doubt. I have definitely been a doubter before. I remember one time specifically:

About 10 years ago, I decided to take a position as Athletic Director at South Adams High School. I had applied at Garrett, but did not get the job. During that whole process, I was greatly disappointed not to get the job at GHS. I prayed about it constantly and really felt that God wanted me in the Athletic Director position at Garrett. But, it wasn't to be. So when i saw the opening at South Adams, I applied. I got the job and fell in love with the community. The job was great, the community was great, the people I worked with were great, and I loved the kids. Just like any job there were good times and bad times. But, I made it through them. My 5th year at SA was not a good year. I had more issues that year than any other year at SA. That is when I heard the Athletic Director Job at Garrett was open again. I'm not sure why, but I just felt like I needed to apply. It felt like in my heart that there was unfinished business in Garrett. So I applied. I remember telling my wife that I would leave the results up to God. If he wanted me there, I would get the job. If he wanted me to stay at South Adams, I wouldn't get it. I was a great peace either way. Well, needless to say, I got the job. But, even after getting the job, I had doubts about whether it was really God who wanted me to do it. Stephanie had a great teaching job at Adams Central and didn't have a job at Garrett. It was really going to be tough on her. Even though I left his whole process up to God, I had doubts because of Stephanie's job. I also had doubts about why didn't God just give me the job the first time I applied. Maybe I was just being stubborn and wanting to prove a point.

Stephanie and I were on our way up to the school board meeting at Garrett where they would approve my hiring. On the hour drive from South Adams, Stephanie and I talked about my doubts. I remember saying, "Why won't God just give me a sign that this is the right thing to do?" God should have treated me like Zechariah. He should have silenced me right there. After all the amazing things he had done in my life, how could I doubt him now. Fortunately he didn't silence me, but he should have. Instead he provided a sign that I was where I was supposed to be. When we got to Garrett that night, Stephanie and I were greeted by Principal Kim Lobsiger. Before we could even say Hi, Kim told Stephanie he had to talk to her after the Board meeting, he had a job for her! I just couldn't believe it. God had answered my prayer. He had given me a sign. I didn't deserve it then and I certainly don't deserve it now. But, he is always faithful and his timing is perfect, always.

I know this is a long story. But, I could tell many more stories about my lack of faith. I could tell many stories where I doubted God.  I am so sorry I have doubted him. He has never ever let me down. Just like with Zechariah and Elizabeth, God has his own time. His time is not my time. Who am I to doubt the creator of the universe?

Dear Lord, You have shown your awesome power and grace in my life more times than I can count. You are Lord of everything. I can not doubt your perfect wisdom and your perfect timing. My life is witness to this fact. Please forgive me for my doubts. Please forgive me for my lack of Faith. I trust you with my life. Thank You Lord. Amen!

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