Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Why Lord?

I know I haven't written in such a long time.

Now is a really good time for me to start again.

I am on vacation with my awesome wife, granddaughter and her friend. We have been planning this trip for nearly two years. You see, we have a deal with our grandkids that between their junior and senior years of high school they can plan a trip and we will take them on it. Well, this is Hannah's Senior trip. We had planned a whirlwind three week vacation out west seeing Arches National Park, San Fransisco, Alcatras, Yosemite, Sequoia, Zion, Grand Canyon, and home. The trip was going great until we got to the mountains of Colorado. On the down hill run on I-70, the truck lost power, I could tell we were down a cylinder and she just stopped.

That started a chain of events that just has me puzzled.

To shorten the story, the truck needs to have a NEW motor. The cost will be in the thousands. I mean REALLY in the thousands. SO, here we sit between a rock and a hard place. It is cheaper buying a new motor than a new truck, but this whole thing was just not in the plans. While we are waiting on the replacement, we are continuing the trip. God is amazing and he has a way to humble us. We have rented a car and are back in a TENT camping without our beautiful fifth wheel. We are roughing it. (It's really not that bad). We have seen Alcartaz. The Arches National Park was replaced with Rocky Mountain National Park as we waited on the diagnosis of the truck. THAT was a great swap. We have plans on seeing all our sights and hopefully the truck will be done when we are ready to come home.

But, I am struggling. I believe in a wonderfully powerful God who sacrificed everything for me. He gave his son that I might live forever with him. Stephanie and I are devoting our retirement to serving him through motorcycle ministry. So, WHY would the Lord allow this to happen?  The money we spend on fixing the truck would have been used for our ministry plans. So, why would the Lord, who is completely in charge of our life's plans, allow this to happen?  He has helped us all along this trip of retirement, to get us to ready for service. We have motorcycle ministry scheduled all summer with the fifth wheel. We have a trip to Peru, and more service before the end of the year. WHY LORD?

But, you know what?  We are safe, Hannah is getting her trip. Sure we were a little inconvenienced and sure we are having to spend money we didn't plan to spend. But REALLY that's it. It is not that big of deal. God will still use us, he will provide whatever resources we need and I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. It seems trite, but it is JUST money. We have it, God has blessed us with it and we will spend it so we can serve him.

Today I spent the afternoon with Stephanie, Hannah and Kallee exploring Yosemite. This is my go to place in this world. I just love this place and the wonderful beauty GOD HAS CREATED. Seeing Half Dome, marveling at the MERCED RIVER, seeing El Capitan, and the meadows of Yosemite Valley are CLEAR PROOF of an amazing, all powerful, God. I can not let any small setback keep me from serving this wonderfully powerful God. THE GOD. THE ONE AND ONLY GOD.

Dear Lord, I LOVE YOU. I am so blessed with the life you have given me. I praise you today just as much as I praised you the first day of this trip. I am in awe of you and the sacrifices you have made for me, the greatest is the sacrifice of your Son JESUS. Please forgive me for my lack of faith. Please forgive me for me weaknesses and the sin of doubt. You are MY LORD. You are my redeemer and I will trust you until the end of my day.