A reluctant prayer

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” (Matthew 21:22 NIV)

I'm just not sure about this verse. I had a multitude of requests go unfulfilled in my prayer life. I don't feel slighted in any way, but I have to admit, I think of those situations and wonder about this verse. There is so much more to God than just some cosmic Santa Claus. Look at this paraphrase:

But Jesus was matter-of-fact: “Yes—and if you embrace this kingdom life and don’t doubt God, you’ll not only do minor feats like I did to the fig tree, but also triumph over huge obstacles. This mountain, for instance, you’ll tell, ‘Go jump in the lake,’ and it will jump. Absolutely everything, ranging from small to large, as you make it a part of your believing prayer, gets included as you lay hold of God.” (Matthew 21:21, 22 MSG)

Many, many years ago I realized that God knows best. The more time I spend in the presence of God, the more my prayers end with, "Not my will Lord, but your will." I have to say I'm sometimes reluctant to speak those words. That certainly speaks to my weak faith. I doubt a God at times. Not that I doubt what he CAN do. I doubt what he WILL do. That is crazy. How can I claim to be leading the "kingdom life" with such thoughts. I need to change. I'm working on it. 

That reluctance to turn over the reigns to God helps put the blame on me for unanswered prayers. We need to constantly evaluate our attitudes and motives within our own prayer life. We need to feel free to express our desires and feelings to God. He wants that free communication with his children. But when it comes down to it, his love will over ride the selfish desires. He knows what's best. He will provide. With me, he always has provided and I am abundantly blessed more than I could have ever asked for. Most of the time that helps me turn over the direction of my life without hesitation. It needs to be all the time.

Lord I trust you. I beg your forgiveness when I let my selfish desires get in the way of your wonderful plan. Please continue to do your will in my life. Use me and give me direction throughout my remaining days. I love you Lord. Amen!